What I'd Give
by Wulfenlein
Summary: What happens when Severus Snape approaches the Mirror of Erised? What does he see? What does he feel? Can he find the strength to look away before he loses himself?  Cliche Lily/Snape fic  Rate/Review!


(AN: Hi! This is my first Harry Potter fic. And I wrote this out of...well...not boredom but random inspiration! The story of Lily and Snape is so compelling.

This idea has probably been done a million times over but I don't care. It's just for fun, enjoy either way.

Set to this song, kind of: .com/watch?v=ZU7JhMXGhGE )

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><p>"<em>And to know you…is hard<em>

_And we wonder…"  
><em>

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><p>Walking up to the mirror Snape, at first saw nothing, He saw only his reflection until he stopped and stood directly in front of it. He glanced to the side before taking a good look, unimpressed, he wasn't sure why the Potter boy was escorted out of this room by Dumbledore earlier as if it were a problem, as if there was something terrible here. It was just a mirror, and he found absolutely nothing special ab-<p>

Suddenly, his heart skipped in his chest.

He saw from the corners of his black eyes the same bright green ones that haunted him for so many years. He looked back to the mirror slowly, and there he saw himself, beside him a girl just a little bit shorter than himself. Her eyes were vivid in the reflection, her orange hair framing her beautiful face that wore an even more appealing smile. She was staring at him, and his face was of pure shock and disbelief.

He watched her, not moving, barely breathing now. He just…stared. She did nothing but smile and continue to stare, sometimes fixing her hair or tucking it briefly behind her ear. It would fall back seconds later. He felt his eyes watering and his throat knotting up painfully. He saw her hand rise from her side, it moved and touched his shoulder, the other hand doing the same moments after. Lily giggled though there was no sound behind it, she then slipped her arms full around him. Snape's breath caught in his aching throat.

He raised his own hands, smiling weakly as he moved to touch her arms. He felt a crushing, crippling feeling of disappointment when he felt nothing there but his own old clothing. He looked down to the space where her arms should have been and saw nothing but black. He looked to the mirror again slowly, seeing her there still "holding" him.

A tear rolled down his cheek. His hands hung in mid air then, from the reflection it looked as if he was holding the arms that held him so tightly, he could only pretend. He'd give anything, _anything_, for this to be real. He swallowed hard, watching Lily who now laughed softly as she looked directly into Snape's eyes and "kissed" the top of his head.

He inhaled deeply, shakily, he braced himself to the glass of the mirror and broke out into tears and pitiful sobs. His legs trembled as they practically gave out from underneath him. His heart felt as if it were being ripped from his heart, the same way it felt the day he held her dead body in his arms. He was having flashbacks to that very moment

He clawed at the mirror as if it would scratch a thin surface that separated him from his lost-lover. But it did nothing, it didn't even leave a mark. He sobbed, cried, completely losing himself. He was unable to look away, unable to stop.

"Why-?" He cried, banging against the mirror. "Why not me? Why!"

He repeated this many times. His tears dripped from his hooked-nose, some getting on the mirror itself. His deep exhales fogged up the mirror over and over again and disappeared as quickly as they came.

And in the midst of this madness, an old voice called out. "SEVERUS! SERVERUS!"

Snape felt a pair of thin arms grasp him, tearing him away from the mirror. Snape's eyes were fixed on it still and he let out another sob and struggled to try and get out of the old man's arms. Lily watched with the same expression, her hands were folded in front of her as if patiently waiting for Snape to come back into her arms.

"NO! NO-!"

"SEVERUS, it's not real! She's gone, Serverus, she's gone!" A wrinkled hand covered the crying man's eyes whose protests and cries died down almost immediately after his eyes were shielded from the mirror. He slumped down into the elder's arms, trembling. His hands clutched the clothing on the arms that restrained him. Snape knew who it was, he knew the whole time.

"Serverus…" Whispered Dumbledore calmly.

"…she's gone…" Snape choked out these words at a volume just barely above a whisper. He inhaled sharply and spoke through his shaken up exhale. "…why did I see her? I could almost feel her…her arms…" He whispered so sadly.

Dumbledore nodded, a sympathetic look on his face though he knew Snape wasn't looking.

"…the mirror of Erised," he began, "a magic mirror…in which shows the deepest and most desperate desire of ones heart." He shook his head slowly, he could hear Snape panting against him still, sniffling.

"…if I hadn't found you, or heard your screams, who knows what would have happened to you." He said quietly, looking down at Snape who was dead silent, eyes tightly shut.

"…Serverus?"

"Let me go…"

"Serverus…-"

Snape looked up with pleading, red-rimmed eyes. "…please…tak- get…get me away from the mirror. Get me out of this room. I want…to be…alone." His voice broke a little at the end, his hands remained clutching the dark sleeves of Albus' clothing.

Dumbledore felt so much pity for the man, he nodded. "Get up, Serverus. I will escort you out."

He helped the younger male up to his feet. Snape had used Dumbledore's arms to keep him steady. His eyes were on the ground, looking as if he were in a daze, in shock, as if he'd…seen a ghost.

Dumbledore frowned, placing his hand on the man's shoulder. "Serverus…please, let's go. You need to get some rest."

"…rest…" Snape repeated under his breath, nodding, his expression never changing. He nodded again before walking out of the room, stumbling a little. He could feel the eyes of the headmaster on him as he left on his own, who then walked to cover up the mirror that had caused so many problems as of late.

Dumbledore didn't see Snape for the rest of the day, nor did anyone else. He stayed away from everyone and everything, spending his day torturing his mind with memories of lost-love.

And that's all it was.

That was the only thing on his mind.

And that's how it always seemed to be.

Lily.

_Always_ Lily…

Always.

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><p>"<em>I'm coming up only to hold you under…"<em>


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